Love Where You Are, Manifest Where You’re Going
Welcome, 2022. Many will welcome the new year with a plan to be the best they ever have. “New year, new me!” While this may be a cliche, it is still positive energy to bring toward the year. Why not reimagine yourself with all the strength and determination you deeply desire? I believe many people fall into the trap of expecting a seamless transformation overnight; how are you going to treat yourself where you are currently? While I have always been a strong advocate of compassion, only recently did realize I often extend more compassion to others than I did to myself. My core beliefs may teach self-preservation, yet my Panamanian household reinforced taking care of others. Many of my past grievances about myself are actually internalized, inaccurate or incomplete assumptions from the outside world. When you make a commitment to become the best version of yourself, that also means incrementally shedding past trauma and self-judgment. It’s not always as simple as a workout routine or job change (which are wonderful changes in life), but the foundation upon which those things rest. I have 3 steps I always go back to in the midst of wanting to see yourself transform. Remember that change happens slowly over a period of time. How you show yourself compassion now (even the parts that you want to leave behind), reveals how you’ll accept and integrate the habits and thought patterns you want to establish.
Breathe
Everything begins and ends with breath. Ground yourself when you feel the harsh tension between who you were and who you want to become. Breathwork allows you to occupy the spaces between emotions and moments. Pour back into yourself what you expel.
You are sure to catch glimpses of yourself in the blur of change.
An exercise I like to practice is:
Set a timer for 2-3 minutes when you find yourself overrun by thought patterns that no longer serve you. Setting a timer reassures you set aside time just to be present. Since time is often perceived slower when meditating, many don’t get past 60 seconds initially.
Take a deep breath in through your nose, slowly. Allow your breath to start from the bottom of your chest cavity all the way to the top. As you do it, feel the breath enter pockets of your chest and be aware of your body. The goal is not to take in as much air as possible, but to take as much time to feel your body and your breath.
Hold your breath for a count of 3, feel its presence in your heart space. Exhale out of your mouth, relax the edges of your mouth and let the breath flow out of you, try to sustain your exhale for a count of 5 or longer than it took for you to inhale.
Forgive
I will not blame my culture, my environment, or anything for my refusal to forgive. We are not looking to the past, but the future. That’s where the best version of yourself awaits you. You are enough of a reason to forgive someone, even without an apology. Give yourself the space and time if necessary, because forgiveness is for you. I even took a year off from interacting with a relative because I need that space to forgive and to limit as much pain as possible. Although loved ones can be a source of wonderful support, they can also be enormous sources of pain and past trauma. Forgiveness is not for anyone else, but for you to make peace with a past as you inch toward the future. Consider what you need to get to a place of forgiveness; writing a letter, journaling, talking it out with a professional, whatever you need. You are your best reason.
Conquer Level 1
As you grow, there is still an obstacle that never truly goes away: yourself. When you’re on a journey to transform, you come up against negative thoughts, habits, and internal conflicts. Ask yourself, “What narrative have I assigned to this issue?” Whether you are “right” or “wrong” in your actions or opinion, it is essential to have a clear, judgment-free account of the issue or narrative that’s limiting you. The story we tell ourselves is often different from reality. Any room you allow for positivity and openness will be key to getting to the next level. Be gentle with yourself, every level is level one.
